It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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