my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
