Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
