Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
