dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
