i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize