Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
