Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
