She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
