Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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