we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
