Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
