My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
