Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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