I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize