oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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