Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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