Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize