I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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