I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
