yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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