dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
