He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
