He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
