Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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