did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
