like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
