no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize