She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
