piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
