Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
