Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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