so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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