I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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