1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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