we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
