So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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