when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize