I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
