I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
