you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
