I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
