everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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