Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
its not stalking. its research.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
