You're so nebulous sometimes
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize