Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
