We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
