That's when you crack a 10am beer
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
