Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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