my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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