I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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