this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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