If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
And then he peed in my hair
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