next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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