TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
