It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
