Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize