I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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