she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize